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#mtgjudge - Outtakes
von Heiko Schmidt
22.02.2008

Vielleicht habt ihr schon gehört, dass es im riesigen IRC-Netzwerk einen ganz eigenen Channel für Magic-Regeln und -Schiedsrichter gibt: #mtgjudge. Dort findet man regelmäßig bekannte Namen, die sich allerdings nicht nur durch ihr Regelwissen, sondern auch ihren (ebenfalls ganz eigenen) Humor auszeichnen.

Henke, der dort auch öfter anzutreffen ist, hat in letzter Zeit einige Ausschnitte aus diesem Chat gesammelt, um der Öffentlichkeit zu beweisen, dass auch Magic-Judges sehr lustig sein können. Was ihr im Folgenden lesen werdet, wurde genauso getippt, nichts ist erfunden.

Die Namen der Schreiber habe ich allerdings ersetzt, weil manche nicht damit einverstanden waren, dass ihr Geschriebenes an die Öffentlichkeit gelangt. Und obwohl die Unterhaltungen allesamt auf Englisch sind und hin und wieder ein bisschen Fachvokabular oder Chat-Slang beinhalten, denke ich, kann man die Zitate trotzdem verstehen, und ich lasse sie bewusst unkommentiert. (Ansonsten gibt's ja noch das Forum.) Viel Spaß!

(Regelfragen könnt ihr übrigens wie immer an Judge@PlanetMTG.de.schicken.)

Los geht's...

_
Es gibt keine dummen Fragen...
– aber wir finden garantiert
eine dumme Antwort!

_
    < Spieler > Are there any cards that can bring out a planeswalker?
    < Judge > basic lands

    < Spieler > you trample over plainswalkers like over normal creatures, right?
    < Judge > You trample to Planeswalkers, not over them. Unless you really meant Plainswalkers, in which case, yes.

    < Judge1 > give me your e-mail
    < Judge2 > no, thanks, I'm still using it
    < Judge2 >:D
    < Judge2 > get your own e-mail!
    < Judge1 > lol

_
Reflexionen über die Arbeit als Judge
_
    < Judge1 > heh going back through old reviews is fun
    < Judge2 > Full of "you suck and should be demoted!"?.
    < Judge1 > totally
    < Judge3 > Judge2, did you hack my account?.
    < Judge1 > haha
    < Judge2 > Judge3, only yours? well...
  • Judge3 looks anxious.

    < Judge 1 > hm, just something on my mind: if you ask an experienced judge "was there ever a case, where, in retroprespective, you should've dq'ed someone, but you did not?" and he answers "no" - is this believable?
    < Judge2 > possible, I suppose
    < Judge2 > it seems unlikely to me, though
    < Judge3 > i'm sure there are people who haven't made that particular mistake
    < Judge3 > but i'm not one of them
    < Judge4 > I've made the opposite mistake before also
    < Judge2 > of course, most DQs are easier in retrospect
    < Judge5 > I have gone both ways.
    < Judge5 > No, you should not /topic that.
    < Judge5 > Many, many years ago, I did not DQ when I should have. I have also DQ'd when I should not have
  • Judge2 changes topic to 'Magic the Judging | < Judge5 > I have gone both ways. '
  • Judge2 is bad at following direction

  • ...Stunden später...

    < Judge5 > Could someone say something amusing to rotate my quote out of the topic?
    < Judge6 > yes.
    < Judge5 > Proceed.
    < Judge6 > uh... no.

    ...Tage später...

  • Now talking in #mtgjudge
  • Topic is 'Magic the Judging | [Snip several Judge5 comments complaining about topic]'

_
Geschichten aus dem
WotC-Office

_

Diese hier kennt ihr vielleicht schon:

    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > So, here's my mildly amusing Magic anecdote from yesterday...
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > I'm playing Mark Rosewater in our "prerelease" and smashing him with Chameleon Colossus
    < Judge > hehe
    < Judge > good one
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > He manages to chumpa few times and makes an annoyed grunting sound as his forces are depleted
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > I shrug and say, "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't make the card."
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > (that's not the funny part)
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > His turn, he draws, triumphantly and excitedly slams down his second Swamp and says "Ah ha!" and plays Weed Strangle on the Colossus.
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > "Sorry, Development added pro black."
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > < MaRo > "They WHAT?!?"

Die hier aber noch nicht:

    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > someone hit the WotC drum pedal for Rock Band really hard and broke it
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > so now you can't hit it unless you do it at a certain angle
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > and people have solved this by having two drummers
    < Spieler1 > YOU HAVE A WOTC ROCK BAND?
    < Spieler1 > oh man, you are living the life
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > one for the bass pedal and one for the others
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > I can't complain
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > lot of fun!
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > the name of our band is Mishra's War Machine
    < Spieler2 > I finally got to play Rock Band at a NYE party. It -is- that good.
    < Judge1 > so it bands, but it sucks?
    < Spieler2 > I guess dorkyness is easily found at your job:]
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > dorkiness here?
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > NOOOOOOOO
    < WotC-Mitarbeiter > (ok yes)

_
Judging all over the world
_
    < Judge1 > so does Canada have the same plugs as the US?
    < Judge2 > the amount of Americans that visit Canada I expect so.
    < Judge3 > yes
    < Judge3 > not those funny European plugs
    < Judge3 > heh
    < Judge3 > I grew a beard in Amsterdam because my electric razor didn't work there
    < Judge4 > our plugs are quite serious!.
    < TobiH > indeed!
    < TobiH > uproar of righteous indignation!
    < Judge3 > lol

    < Judge1 > hi all, quick greetings from Kuala Lumpur International Airport
    < Judge2 > back!
    < Judge3 > wow, you're still stuck in that god-forsaken back-water country?
    < Judge3 > err... did I say that out loud?
    < Judge1 > yes...
    < Judge1 > and yes

_
Aus den Weiten des Webs
_

    < Judge1 > ah, love doing online surveys...
    "1. Do you have access to the internet?"

    …Schweigen…

    < Judge2 > Well.... don't leave us all in suspense! Do you? Do you?
    < Judge1 > the survey is confidential, sorry. i can't reveal that

    < Judge1 > it had to happen eventually: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/18/techn…
    < Judge2 > Blasphemy
    < Judge1 > "I don't have a problem. Seventeen hours a day online is fine."
    < Spieler1 > seems fine to me
    < Spieler1 > leaves 7 for sleeping, more than enough
    < Judge3 > does that mean someone is not online while sleeping? Unbelievable!
    < Judge4 > this web addiciton... yeah
    < Judge4 > I should watch more tv then to compensate for that
    < Judge2 > Or play more computer games.
    < Judge4 > I really wonder about all those addictions...
    < Judge4 > it seems most (all?) things I do enjoy are addicitons
    < Judge2 > I am addicted to breathing
    < Judge5 > Judge2: I'm not.
    < Spieler2 > Judge5, admitting you are, is the first step
    < Judge5 > Hey, I've quit before!
    < Judge5 > So...
    < Judge5 >
    < Judge2 > Didn't you try to quit breathing at GenCon and faaaail?
    < Judge5 > It was Pro Tour San Diego, and I kept it up for ~1.5 minutes.
    < Judge2 > Oh, okay

_
Random
_
    < Judge > Come to my FNM!
    < Spieler > where is yours?
    < Judge > Tucson
    < Judge > >_>
    < Spieler > heh
    < Spieler > hey, last fall I drove 2 hours for FNM, flying there may have been cheaper

    < Spieler > So where do you guys buy your boxes from? most local places seem to have a pricetag of ~100$ on them, didn't know if there was a cheaper online place anywhere...
    < Judge1 > don't ask here
    < Judge1 > we don't buy boxes, we receive them as compensation from our TOs
    < Judge1 > although mine tend to appear under my pillow in the middle of night
    < Judge2 > tooth fairy delivers boxes, too, Judge1?
    < Judge3 > from the booster fairy?
    < Judge1 > it's a booster fairy obv
    < Judge1 > a completely different branch of the fairy office
    < Judge2 > oh, my mistake

    < Judge1 > Doesn't enforcing the rules necessarily include following them?
    < Judge2 > Optimally
    < Judge1 > I'm pretty sure it does necessarily.
    < Judge1 > If you don't stop yourself from not following the rules, then you aren't enforcing them.
    < Judge2 > It's also a question of *which* rules we're enforcing and which we're following
    < Judge1 > All rules should be followed, by definition of rules.
    < Judge3 > if we're judging, then we're not playing, so there's plenty of rules we enforce that we won't be following
    < Judge 3 > and, there's plenty of other rules which we as judges aren't responsible for enforcing, so we can break those rules just fine without interfering with judging
    < Judge 3 > judges aren't responsible for enforcing the law of gravity, for example. So, we can break that law while judging without any conflict
    < Judge2 > good luck

_
Und natürlich doch ein
paar… Regelfragen

_
    < Judge1 > I have a hypothetical: In round one of a casual draft a player calls you over because he is playing a 60 card deck after another player informed him that the deck had to be 60 cards not 40. That player knowingly lied about event rules.
    < Judge2 > It's casual, so beating the other player with a fish of your choice is an option.

    < Spieler > does Stinkdrinker Daredevil make changelings cost less to play, or only the ones that say giant in the type line
    < Judge1 > Changelings are Giants in all zones
    < Judge1 > so they will be cheaper
    < Judge2 > Coincidentally, I am also a Giant in all zones.
    < Judge3 > Good to know.
    < Judge2 > RAR
    < Spieler > your a changeling?!
    < Judge2 > No. Giant.
    < Judge4 > Counterspell
    < Judge3 > Count or spell what?
    < Judge4 > how many times i counter his spell
    < Judge1 > Canterspell. UU. Instent. Countor target spel if it's naem isnt spellt fonetikly.

Quizfrage: Könnt ihr erraten, bei welchem Teilnehmer der folgenden Diskussion es sich um einen Level-5-Judge handelt?

    < Judge1 > And now another exciting episode of "Adventures in Misinterpretation..."
    < Judge1 > Here's an interesting question that I received
    < Judge1 > "Cairn Wanderer says if you have a creature with flying in your graveyard it gets a bunch of different abilities, one of these being "protection." But what does it get protection from? the color of the card that had flying in your graveyard? everything? what? "
    < Judge1 > Now that I've seen his question I understand why he thinks that way, but I never would have before.
    < Judge2 > Wow
    < Judge1 > I think I'm gonna try that one in a draft sometime
    < Judge3 > it's a perfectly valid interpretation
    < Judge3 > win!
  • Judge4 votes Judge1 starts replying to such questions with various FAIL images on the internet
  • < Judge2 > Magic - you're doing it wrong.
    < Judge1 > hmmm, seems like slightly poor customer service, but tempting
    < Judge5 > Judge4, you mean images like this one? http://www.questionablecontent.net/images/…
    < Judge4 > no
    < Judge4 > that is the worst FAIL picture ever
    < Judge4 > I assume it was done in irony
    < Judge4 > but still
    < Judge4 > It's clearly showing success
    < Judge4 > but labeling it fail
    < Judge2 > Picture of a kitten with a wand up its bum.
    < Judge2 > _
    < Judge3 > "It gets protection. When written like that, it's a shortcut for protection from everything, including you"
    < Judge2 > Judge3, so you can't tap it, since you can't touch it, right?
    < Judge3 > correct!
    < Judge1 > What if you already have it in a sleeve for protection?
    < Judge3 > it gets double-protection!
    < Judge2 > Doubling up does not provide significantly more protection, and in fact causes greater risk of the sleeve breaking:<
    < Judge2 > oh wait, wrong topic!
    < Judge1 > I vote that we make that the topic
    < Spieler > Judge2, really? I know some people that swear by double-sleeving. They use a small clear one, and then a larger colored one
    < Judge1 > I think you are talking about two different things
    < Judge3 >.... too many responses
    < Judge2 > I know, Judge3. I can't decide what to say to that:/

_
Zum Schluss…
_

Hier noch das Nummernkennzeichen, mit dem Eli Shiffrin (Level 2, verbirgt sich hinter einigen der oben anonymisierten Namen, betreut zusammen mit anderen die Regelfragen-Kolumne bei mtgsalvation.com) tatsächlich durch die Gegend fährt und von dem er uns freundlicherweise ein Bild zur Verfügung gestellt hat:






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Weitere Artikel/Berichte von Heiko Schmidt

[15.02.2008]Ask the Judge #4 – Mehr Rätsel
[08.02.2008]Ask the Judge #3 – Quiztime!
[25.01.2008]Who is Who?
[11.01.2008]Ask the Judge #2
[30.11.2007]Ask the Pro Judge, Teil 2 (deutsch)


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